Okay, so yesterday I was feeling all kinds of mixed up about my ex. You know, that weird space where you’re not sure if you miss them, miss the idea of them, or are just plain bored? So, I grabbed my trusty tarot deck to see if I could get some clarity.
I decided to keep it super simple. No fancy spreads, just a single card pull focusing on the question: “What are my true feelings for my ex right now?” I shuffled the deck, really concentrating on that question, trying to push aside all the surface-level drama and get to the core of it.
And… I pulled the 9 of Pentacles.
At first, I was a little stumped. I mean, the 9 of Pentacles is usually about independence, self-sufficiency, enjoying the fruits of your labor, right? It’s that feeling of being content and secure in your own space. It took me a minute of staring at the card, really letting the imagery sink in.
I sat there, looking at the woman on the card. She’s surrounded by abundance, all this stuff she’s worked for. She’s alone, but she doesn’t look lonely. She looks…proud. And calm. And that’s when it started to click.
My feelings aren’t about him so much anymore. It’s not about longing for the relationship we had. It’s more about… recognizing the good things that came out of it, for me personally.
- I realized I’m stronger than I thought I was. Going through the breakup, as rough as it was, showed me I could handle it.
- I focused on myself a lot more after we split. I picked up old hobbies, started new ones, and generally just invested time in things I enjoyed. That’s totally 9 of Pentacles energy.
- I learned a lot about what I want, and don’t want, in a relationship. That’s valuable knowledge, even if it came at a price.
So, pulling the 9 of Pentacles wasn’t telling me I still had romantic feelings. It was showing me that my feelings are more about appreciating the personal growth and independence I’ve gained because of that whole experience. It’s a feeling of gratitude, not for the relationship itself, but for what it ultimately led me to: a stronger, more self-assured me. And, honestly? That feels pretty good.
I put away the card, feeling a lot lighter. I get it. Now I move on.
